Beer sir?

Okay, so my professor is a whiskey connoisseur. There were a few of us in class tonight that had a few concerns regarding the cases we'd just discussed. One chick said, "He smells like Bourbon!" So in his office, (and yes we could all smell the Maker's Mark), we were interrogating him on the specifics of the law. One of the students in my study group mentioned, "Are we going to grab a beer tonight? It's Thursday. No class tomorrow" So of course, we agreed. The professor asked, "So where are you all going. I'll grab a drink or two." We went to a neighborhood pub swapping drinks and war stories. Like I said before, this is part of the profession. I never had an engineering professor willing to tip a few back. Oh, the life as a layman...soon to be lawyer.

Profiling keeps me from stealing

This case that I just read involves the invasion of privacy by the Wal-Mart greeters. Most of the greeters, as we all know, are a bunch of tard nuggets and/or extremely old senior citizens. In the case I read, the Wal-Mart greeter requested to see the receipt from a customer exiting the store. The greeter then conducted a search of the merchandise purchased. The customer sued Wal-Mart for invasion of privacy on the grounds that some very personal items were purchased and put on public display by the greeter as the bags were checked. The details here are not the primary reason for this post. Rather, given this background I'd like to discuss my latest experience with Wal-Mart.

Today, I went to Wal-Mart to purchase an ink cartridge for the printer. They of course had none in stock. So I thought to myself, let me go see if the have any drinks on sale. The Pepsi products were on sale so I grabbed a few 12-packs. After I paid for my 4 items, I proceeded to walk out of the exit. In front of me were some hoodlums with a cart full of electronics and, namely, a brand new computer. It was obvious, at least to me, that these chumps probably have never even used a computer. Yet, the greeter allowed them to pass. I, however, with 4 12-packs of "soda" was stopped. The dimwit greeter said, "Receipt please?" So naturally, as I'm known for, I threw a fit. I mumbled (and yes she heard me), "You mean to tell me that someone can walk out of this store with over 1000 dollars worth of electronics and you stop the guy with 10 bucks of merchandise in his hand?" That's b.s. She stated, "It's our job." I think Sammy Walton would be happier if you prevented the black market sell of brand new laptops. But then again, that's just my opinion. In analyzing this further, I came to the conclusion that I was being racially profiled. After all, this Wal-Mart is in the hood.

Insanity

In Torts class the other night, we discussed a case involving the issue of the intent of the insane. The issue was whether or not an insane person can form intent to cause harm. In the criminal realm, insanity is a scapegoat but that's not the case in Torts. Torts is cool because it doesn't matter if the crack pipe fried the brain of some tool. The tool(s) I speak of are still responsible. So if Grandpa Willie smoked three doobies and became insane, he's still liable for damages when he knocks you on the noggin with the butt of his rifle. If he could prove insanity in criminal law, he may walk away with 10 hours of community service. However, in Torts you go after his hard earned cash and are much more likely to win. The case we discussed was rather old and only referred to the Defendant as "insane." Nowadays, you're blessed with some special medical term that makes it sound less insane. It doesn't matter what kind of insanity a person possesses. In my book they're still a whack.

Civil law as I see it

There exists a big stink around the law school between the Civil law and Common law students. Common law students make their claim to fame about how the law changes so much more and that everything is based on judicial interpretation. Civil law students on the other hand complain of having to refer to the LA Civil Code jumping around from Article to Article before finally referring to judicial interpretations. Louisiana is the only state in the U.S. that uses the Civil code based on that of the Napoleonic code from the French. So basically, in Louisiana you must first find a governing Article. If one doesn't exist, then I guess you just make the crap up. Is that why this place is known for its corruption in politics? I would have figured that the Common law states would be more corrupt in the sense that it's based more on interpretation. Even though in Louisiana you must first refer to the Code, it doesn't seem to be much different than that of the Common law. In both systems, the judges tweak rules to fit the particular dispute before them. Nothing in this profession is ever a sure thing. For a lack of a better way of putting it, it's all about how you milk the gonads of a previous interpretation.

Jack & Coke please

I've opted to write a quick blurb before going to class since I'll be heading out of town as soon as I'm finished tonight. I'm second-guessing my choice of going to the live draft. Here is an excerpt from an email that I just received from the Student Bar Association:

...
Because you managed to survive the first week of law
school, SBA is kicking off the fall 2007 semester with
our first TGIF event, a Bar Review at the Gold Mine
Saloon in the French Quarter tomorrow night.

Food, beer, and sodas will be provided along with
$2 Flaming Dr. Peppers.
...

Once again, yet another drinking opportunity hosted by the law school. I'm beginning to think this must be the method of retention used by law professionals worldwide.

On another not-so-uplifting note, I still have yet to receive my financial aid. They must be a well endowed institution, because the Bursars office doesn't seem to care that I haven't paid yet. In talking with many others using financial aid, I've come to the conclusion that the Financial Aid Office is lacking in productivity. Then again, this is a form of HR isn't it? It's been 2.5 months since I started the application and I know they've had all of my materials at least a week before I arrived. Yet, two weeks in and they still haven't seemed to pull through. I've got bills to pay. Give me my money!

Signs of recovery

I don't have much to say about school today, other than it's time to dive into the casebooks...again. I do, however, have a few random observations to chit-chat about. As I was leaving the law school facilities this evening, I noticed two dudes sitting at a table with green vests on. I've noticed this on a few different occasions, but I never really paid it that much attention. Apparently, these guys are called law walkers. Now, just what is that? Well, after a little research I discovered this is a service of the university that provides complimentary "walks" to your vehicle. This is to provide, mainly the chicks, some safety walking back to their vehicles. I guess you never know if you're about to get shot and mugged in this city. It's not a bad idea being that even the 15 year-olds pack heat around here. In the news yesterday was a story about some young punks, referred to as the bicycle bandits, riding around on bikes looking for unlocked cars. On a few occasions, concerned motorists have stopped to confront them only to find out that they won't hesitate pop a cap (or several) in your fender. They have yet to be caught. On another note, I think we had 3 murders here yesterday. I'm sure that's well below the average, but nonetheless it's still a concern. I gotta cut it short to finish up my studies for the evening and get some rest.

Short == Sweet

Before I get started on this post, I must mention that I have over one hundred pages of reading assignments to do this evening. So yes, tonight really sucks. Some of the assignments are for Thursday's classes, but it's a must that I get them done tonight so that I allow for some much needed sleep tomorrow evening in preparation for my 6+ hour drive to the Fantasy Draft on Friday morning. More importantly, Black Beauty will be reentering my possession in good health this weekend. Wow, I'm gonna need a beer!

Now, a little about today's classes...Tonight was cut short by those chain smoking hippies from the liberal arts world. During the second class, the professor went around the room allowing us to introduce ourselves. We gave our name, where we're from, schools attended, undergraduate/graduate backgrounds, and the last book we read. Book? Who reads for enjoyment? I read because I'm required to do so. I don't have time for any other nonsense. We have an architect, a biologist, a M.D., and most importantly an electrical engineer in our section. It was amusing watching the jaws of the English and Business majors drop as we scientists revealed our studies. Just as the last person finished spewing his details, the fire alarm rang out. So, the professor said, "Ah just go home. See you on Thursday."

Remember that law school quote that I mentioned yesterday? Well, come to find out we don't need to wait until the third year for absolute boredom. We'll get a taste of that in 1st year Contracts. This guy is about...well he's just old. Someone mentioned before class, "My dad went to law school here and had this guy for Contracts in 1972." Sure enough, 15 minutes into the class and someone behind me was asking people for No Doz. Others were surfing MySpace and playing flash games on their laptops.

One up, one down

The first day of official class was today. I survived. The Socratic method was used by both professors, but since seats won't be assigned until Wednesday they elected to select volunteers from the crowd instead of randomly picking on those who may be unprepared. I did, however, hear from one of the other sections that the professor called out a name as soon as he opened the door without even setting up shop or giving an introduction. The student called upon was apparently drilled throughout the session with the professor pounding away at why he was wrong in so many different aspects. When the student was stuck with nowhere to go, the professor attacked another student. When the next student got stuck, he went right back to his original victim. So I guess I better be fully prepared for each and every session. My section had it much easier than that. The professors went around the room selecting those who sought out the competition. I decided to lay low (like many others) to get a feel for things. I want to know what to expect before I volunteer for punishment.

Apparently the popular saying around law schools is: "The first year they scare you to death; the second year they work you to death; and the third year they bore you to death."

I have a good law school vs. grizzly bear analogy, but I'll spare you the details until a later date.

Time to prepare for day 2.

The real deal begins

Today was the last day of orientation, so now it's time to hit the books for real. After a brief Q&A session with upper class students, we were invited for free lunch and outdoor activities. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention MORE BEER! It is my assumption that even the water fountains in this place dispense ice cold brew. I guess you can't host a volleyball tournament without providing refreshments. I didn't participate in the outdoor activities or beer since I had some administrative tasks to wrap up before the semester starts. Plus, it was too damn hot and muggy. What I found interesting today was that they were offering beer before giving tours of the law library. Bringing a lot of liquored up law students into the QUIET ONLY sections makes sense to me. I started this afternoon by chipping away at loads of homework due for the first class on Monday. 6 hours later and I'm halfway done.

I can already see that the orientation session met its goal of teaching me to start thinking like a lawyer. Let me explain...Today I used the restroom at the law school and couldn't help but notice the sign above the urinal staring me in the face: "PLEASE FLUSH URINALS. THANK YOU." I started interrogating the sign. When should I flush? Before? After? During? How many times? Can I wait until tomorrow? That solidified my stance on knowing that I'm prepared for next week.

My mentors

Wow, finally a night with no work to do. This won't happen often so let me take full advantage. For the orientation courses, I have three professors. One discusses statutory interpretation, the other discusses...well I don't know what he discusses, I'm still confused...something along the lines of synthesis of various cases, and the third professor discusses what to expect from law school such as the exams, time management, and how to be successful. Each one is interesting in his own way. One of them has some strange fetish about making jokes about bongs. Another is highly interested in throwing out random observations involving the debauchery and prostitution case. The last one...well he's a former Electrical Engineer that wasn't intrigued with scientific studies<--hey that sounds like someone else I know. What they all have in common is that each made it through law school and now their mission is to make my next three years a super pain in the rectum. This whole law thing is going to be a huge dedication. From what I've noticed however, I don't think it's as "difficult" as what they make it out to be. Maybe I'm wrong. It seems to me as if it's more of a lack of time to get all of this crap done issue. So to counter that, we'll turn you into a bunch of chronic smoking anorexics. The cigarette smoke floating around the law school entrance sets the fire alarms off at least 3 times a day. After decades of incoming students, they have yet to figure out that the smoke alarms actually work. Why do you need fire drills when you give the students 15 minutes in between classes? You think I'm joking? I've smoked 6 packs of second hand menthols this week. If I breathe, I get hazy. If I don't, I suffocate. No happy medium.

Stay in your state

Here's one for you. The White Slave Traffic Act of 1910 or some crap like that. Basically, this is a statute regarding the transportation of women in interstate commerce for the purpose of prostitution, debauchery, or some other immoral purpose. Interstate commerce in simple terms is a business deal across state borders. In the particular case we discussed in class, some dude had some woman taken to another state for the sole purpose of her becoming his mistress and concubine. To be more blunt, she was to become his sex slave. The facts in the case were already ruled on in a lower court, so the issue here for the Supreme Court was the wording of the statute itself. Is his transportation of this woman for an immoral purpose? It depends on how you define immoral. Was the intent of legislature here to describe immoral as something related to prostitution or debauchery? Is it the courts duty to extend the law based on what legislature intended it to mean? Or should the court base its decision on the specific wording of the statute? After all, making her his mistress isn't stated directly as being immoral. What if it was his wife and he intended to take her to some remote location across the state line to do the dirty-dirty in the Wal-Mart parking lot? Did she consent or does that really matter? What if it was a transvestite? This is just a snippet of what we discussed in class. It's all about teaching us to think like a lawyer.

I'm not going to dwell on the details in this post. Too many questions. Now you know why it takes so friggin' long to brief these stupid cases. But then again you can also see why I think this stuff is more exciting than The Harriest Potter collection. We get to discuss and argue about hookers! No broomsticks or magic carpets here!

Unpleasant surprise

As I'm walking into class this evening, I take a quick glance at my schedule to make sure I'm not supposed to be jazzed up in a suit for 1L pictures. Luckily, the check confirmed that's not until Thursday. But then I noticed, "Class 6 p.m. - 10 p.m." 4 hours of ungraded torture...great. Come to find out, Monday was just a 2.5 hour tease. The remainder of the week is 4 hours a pop. Not to mention, the grueling readings that will keep me up until 3 in the morning. Work, eat, class, read, and then it starts all over again. Where does sleep fall into this equation?

I've been told that these mandatory 1L pictures may be used by the professors as part of their Socratic teaching method. Whether it's true or not, I've heard that they use your name in conjunction with your picture to remind themselves of who the slackers are when determining who to belittle during the lectures. Most of the professors will randomly call upon an individual to state the facts, issues, rulings, analysis, and holdings of each case. If you're wrong, they'll be sure to let you and your fellow classmates know. If you're right, then they'll just find a way to prove you wrong. As nuts as this may sound, I'm actually looking forward to experiencing this. I've noticed that even with a lack of rest, I find myself zoned in on the lectures. It's much more interesting than scientific studies because there never exists a right or wrong. So as I see it...I'm always right. Then again, there was never any doubt.

I have some interesting thoughts on cases to discuss in future posts.

Taking it easy

Tonight was the first day of an introductory class that will last the remainder of the week...including Saturday. Saturday afternoon should be reserved for time spent at the pub. It's the only time for relaxation. Why must I bother with a class that won't even result in a grade? It's nonsense, but what are you gonna do? Today we learned how to start thinking like a lawyer. The professors do nothing but ask questions. I've yet to hear a statement other than being told that we should be proud of our gift of intellect that landed us here in the first place. I think they're just building us up now so when they strike us down later, we'll feel like a bunch of retards. Most people seem completely lost...and it's only the first day. There are those quick to act like champions shouting out answers to all of the professors' questions, but none of them are ever right. I'll wait my turn until I know I'll sound at least somewhat intelligent.<--That could be a long while.

Luckily, they're refraining from torturing us with the Socratic teaching method until we start our real course of study. I'll elaborate on this method some more once I experience the pain first-hand. It's past midnight and I still have 20 pages to go. It'll take awhile. This isn't a Harry Potter novel. I think I read more sentences from the dictionary than what is contained in the actual cases. A couple more hours of reading and then I'll hit the sack so I can make it up for work in the morning.

World of Ethics

On Saturday, we had an "Ethics Session" put on by the law school by bringing in local attorneys and judges to discuss with us the importance of ethics within the profession. Compared to most people, my morals tend to sway out at the edge of the limb. And since ethics in my mind (correct me if I'm wrong) are simply the application of morals to satisfy some "code of ethics", I tend to find ethics a crap shoot. By this I mean, codes of ethics tend to be vague so what really defines good ethics? If it seems ethical to me, is that good enough? I'll just assume yes since I don't want to give this ethics topic any more thought at the moment. To top it off, we were encouraged (might as well say forced) to dress in professional business attire. Normally, I wouldn't have an issue with doing so. Although when it's 100 degrees out with 378.6(expect some rounding error) percent humidity, I'd rather not be all spiffed up. There will be ample opportunity for the professional attire once I actually become one of these professionals. Until then, tank top and boxers should suffice. And to make it worse (yeah you thought I was done whining), the fire alarm was triggered during the session so we got to experience what it would feel like to be a construction foreman dressed in a suit.

I haven't been to class yet and I already have 50 pages of cases to read. Since tomorrow is the first class, well sort of, I must attempt to get this crap finished.

The First Day(s) of Attorney-ism

The first day is in the books, albeit not an official class yet. On Friday night, the SBA had a meet and greet session with the incoming 1L's as we're called. Being a 1L is basically the same as a S00p3r n00b in computer terminology. No respect, but already a lot of debt. The 3L's on the other hand can be thought of as Leet H4x0r's. And after finished being a 3L, you seal your fate with being able (or for some) not able to pass the Bar exam. If you pass, then you're ready to make some dough. If you fail, then you try again and pray that you're not as stupid as the first time that you took it. Either way, you're now not as much of a tool as the incoming 1L's.

Now, I must discuss some liberal-artsism<--A new word in my personal dictionary. Even in engineering we have those annoying knobs that speak out of turn and blurt out answers that are completely off base. As an engineer, I'm somewhat of an introvert. On the other end of the spectrum, you have the liberal arts folks. In my only two experiences with the arts (yesterday and today), I've come to define that liberal-artsism is the study of how to learn to not shut up. And apparently, law school is just the graduate version of this unfamiliar (to me) concept. It'll be tough, but I'll learn to adapt.

Back to the meet and greet...We basically were instructed to mix and mingle with our peers. In making sure we did so, we were presented with free beer. What a superb idea? Teach us to be alkies before we even begin. No wonder lawyers have such bad reputations. One of my new found buddies said it best, "Well, we can tell who just graduated college and who's held a real job." We asked, "Oh, yeah? How is that?" He said, "We're all part-time students who have real jobs, right? Take a look around, we're also closest to the keg." He's got a point.

Tomorrow, I'll be elaborating on my first day in a suit discussing ethics.

The MNF theme song (hum along dammit) Da da da da, da da da da da da daaaa da da da dah...or something like that

It's approaching fast. Only four days remaining until the transformation from smart-ass engineer to crooked-ass lawyer begins. Of course, I had another bout of bad luck again just before the move. As if a $30K/year education doesn't set me back enough, I found a way to put a $1000 bump and gash in the side of my truck over the weekend. My stupidity took me sliding of the side of a brick wall in a friends driveway. The poor black beauty suffers its first (and hopefully last) major bruise. Oh well, shit happens. Nothing a little cash and beer can't fix. On a more uplifting note, I successfully moved into the new apartment this past Saturday. Priorities were met: 23 blocks from school and 1 block from the bar on the Mardi Gras parade route!