Wipers on the bus go swish, swish, swish

Normally I would discuss law school, but today we're going to diverge from such discussions. Apparently there is the threat of this latest hurricane hitting New Orleans. Most people say, "Ah, not again." I say, "Where in the heck is the party? And how many days will I get off from school due to this?" Think about the priorities, people. I'll be optimistic and pray that I won't have to swim home. I'm not worried about flooding, I'm on the second floor. I'm worried about the thugs coming to jack my things. I guess I'll pack everything including my tv. The evacuation notice hasn't been issued yet, but we're supposed to get one by Friday if the storm is still coming this way. Maybe I'll engineer some mickey-moused device to catch live footage as the storm rolls through. Don't get your hopes up though...I may be an engineer (or better yet, a washed-up-has-been engineer), but I have problems getting my stupid cell phone to function the way I want; much less a battery-operated live feed.

Now...time to attend free pint glass night...gotta go.

The buffet

I haven't really read any interesting cases as of late...at least not in the comical sense. So I have no amusing commentary regarding random case law. Most of the crap that I've been reading involves Constitutional law and other random crap like that. I've been reading several 2nd Amendment cases regarding who has the right to bear arms and whether the state or federal governments can restrict that right. And if so, to what extent. The cases seem interesting but most of it boils down to a battle between the NRA and Mothers Against Guns and Beer. Until I stumble across some interesting topics worthy of my analysis, I'll just ramble on about some other kind of nonsense related to law school.

Take for instance, the meter maids. They stroll around the city equipped with their ticket pads and chalk with the untouchable dream of possibly becoming a real cop one day. These ladies are 350 lbs of pure KFC crispy fried chicken. Now that doesn't mean that they can't whip your tail in a wrestling match; it just means they can't beat you in a 100 yard dash. I wouldn't screw with them if I were you. They mark your vehicle and waddle back two hours later to laugh, giggle, fart, and then write you a ticket. It's the ideal job if you think about it...okay so maybe not. Why should I be able to make fun of them? I don't even have a job anymore.

Can I have another?

Tonight is free beer. Yum! Once again, the SBA has rented a 3 hour block at one of the local bars. I guess I know where I'll be heading tonight. Splish, splash, my thirst is ready to take a bath...in suds.

The first week of classes for the 2L year is over. That calls for celebration. Like we really need justification...

Snoozing is a loozing

It absolutely annoys the piss out of me when my wonderful plans of getting some much needed sleep go right down the shit tube. Every day this week has been a long day and an even longer evening. Of course last night was my fault since we wandered down the road grab a few beers and a cheeseburger (as you can tell I'm trying watch that carb intake). The plan for today was as follows: Go to class, get some grub, finish my reading for tomorrow, and then finish applying for jobs for next summer. The first two goals were a piece of cake. The reading...well that's a long story...we'll get back to that in a second. Now about those jobs...

Midnight tonight is the deadline for applying for upcoming on-campus interviews for summer jobs next year (yes I said next year). To increase my chances of getting selected for interviews with each firm, I decided to write cover letters for each and every one of them (and no it's not as simple as copy-and-paste). I applied for interviews with 18 different firms. Cover letters aren't required (some recommend them), but I thought...what the hell, it can't hurt. That started...let's say...oh...6ish...and I'm just now finishing at 10:30ish. There goes my plans for some much needed shut-eye. Back to the studying...

We have this new case handed down this year by the Supreme Court that we're supposed to read for Con Law. It's an 86 page opinion. Oh, how wonderful that crap is! Then, today I get this email from my professor that made me happy:

Dear class: The 2008 supplement for our case book is now available in our bookstore. The case that everyone is complaining about having to read is excerpted in the supplement. The excerpted version is all you need to read. It's much shorter.

Well guess what. She was wrong. The bookstore didn't have it in yet. Go figure. So before going to bed I have 86 pages of hell to read and then another 15 pages for another class. Being that it's 11 p.m. now, I guess I better get started. Why oh why can I not just catch some ZzzZzz's?

Public Service Announcement

Wednesday, of course, is free pint glass night with the purchase of a beer. Now, let's analyze this for a moment. I no longer have a steady flow of income, so how might I justify a trip to the bar. Easy enough...I need new glassware. Putting aside the fact that I've already collected so many of these glasses that I can't fit any more in the cupboard, who can pass up free crap? Especially when that free crap comes from the bar. If it's free and it comes from the bar, then it's one of three things: a glass (shot or pint), an actual beer, or some random chick's phone number (in which sense, you may want to await sobriety until accepting the free item coming from the bar). All in all, most bar toys are useful for one reason or another.

Now that I've adequately justified my attendance at free pint glass night, I need to get my studying finished for tomorrow's classes.

I propose to you Earth - Please extend my day to 28 hours

Okay, so apparently this full-time school gig is more time consuming than I initially thought. Last night I was up until about 3:30 in the morning trying to finish up homework and tonight...well it's past midnight and I still have a few more pages to read. It's not that the additional two classes are that much more of a pain in the ass. It's mainly due to the work needed to prepare for upcoming on-campus interviews. In addition, I have a commitment to a law journal that has to be taken care of.

A little info on my classes this semester...For professors: I have a liberal environmental crazy (but at least she's cool), I have a computer geek (hey, I can relate), I have a rather normal guy (it's odd to not be able to tag him with some special marking), I have a ball buster, I have a crazy priest that walks home after class with some hip headphones and a wad of chew in his mouth (go figure...it's a Catholic school), and last but not least I have a complete whack. If nothing else, I have a rather diverse group of characters. It should be interesting.

Smaller families, or the lack thereof

Day one of the new semester went smooth. Although, I'm not quite sure what in the hell I'm going to do with all this free time now that I don't have a job. Sure I can study all day, but then what should I do at night? I can't go bar-hopping every night because I no longer have the cash to support that kind of entertainment. I feel lost. I feel like something from my daily routine is missing. Fortunately, today (and tonight for that matter) I had enough crap to read for tomorrow's classes to keep me busy. After all, it is nearly 2 a.m. and I haven't made it to bed yet. On a lighter note, the scenery in the day program is much more pleasing to the eyes than was the evening program. The evening program consisted of a large number of working professionals. Therefore, most of the girls were out of their prime and/or had 12 children each with up to, but not excluding the possibility of more than, 4 previous marriages. The day program...not so much baggage. The majority here are still in their prime and some haven't even reached that stage. Luckily this is law school and not my freshman year of undergrad. If it were the latter, it would be like a 65 year old pedophile watching the Chinese gymnastics team compete in the Olympics. I make it sound like it's a pool of minnows, but in reality I'm probably no where near the oldest one in any of my classes. With that said, I'm definitely not the youngest either.

F no longer equals m*a. Didn't Einstein warn you?

Luckily for me, the homeless hilton accepts applications using a rolling admissions process. I'm now a jobless smuck. I'm going to purchase a tent and live out of trash bags for awhile. It's time to go full-time with school and live on student loans for a couple years. I wonder if any of the neighborhood pubs accept food stamps or WIC for the purchase of beer. My 2L year begins tomorrow bright and early with Constitutional Law. The engineering gig is now a thing of the past. Sometimes I think to myself, "What do I really want to be when I finally grow up?" This law profession idea better work out the way I expect it to. Otherwise, I may still be searching for a profession when I start collecting social security checks. That would be a disaster.

Bubba's turn

Alright, so I'm busy writing this paper about a recent case handed down by the Supreme Court. It basically mandates that State laws allowing the death penalty for non-homicidal crimes (specifically child rape) are unconstitutional under the 8th Amendment. Putting all morals aside, not that mine reach a very high standard to begin with, why not allow capital punishment for heinous crimes such as child rape? The Court reasoned that these crimes are not of the same degree as murder. The Court held that if no death occurred and there was no intent to cause death, then the death penalty is unconstitutional. I say, whack his ass. Who cares? He's not getting out of prison anyhow. Hell, he should be praying for a lethal dose of sleepy juice. Once he gets to prison he's going to quickly learn how it feels to be violated. I watch the Discovery channel and I know those folks in Cell Block D don't appreciate crimes towards women and children. They'll see to it that he clearly understands the severity of his crime. I would let the suspect choose his poison: lethal injection or the affectionate attention of the Aryian Brotherhood, Bloods, Crips, and Mexican Mafia. If he chose the latter, then I'd give him the death penalty anyway. Prisons are overcrowded. The colonial day method, town hangings, was a much better deterrent against violent crimes.

Lethal injection would actually serve as a favor. I would think that one would like to leave this place with his manhood still intact. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this is some secret fetish he's been hiding all these years.