Forecast calls for calls for horse manure

See, see, I was right about global warming. Either that or it was a bunch bird droppings on the ground this morning. Luckily it will be back up in the 70's again this weekend. I'm not used to cold weather here in this city. I moved to New Orleans to get away from the snow. And what do you know, it followed me.

One more exam to go. I'll be stationed at one of the local pubs by this time tomorrow afternoon. Life as I know it will be back to normal. Today's exam was not that bad. Intellectual property rights. There weren't any good hypotheticals to share from the exam. After reading the case law in class, I figured the exam would be like reading a comic book. Cases ranged from Debbie Does Dallas getting sued by the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Association, to trademarks for Old Glory Condoms, to hoo-hoo bong patents, etc. To my disappointment, the hypos were quite boring. Oh well.

My humor is lacking this afternoon, so I'll cut this post short. I think I'm going to opt for a quick nap before getting back to studying for that last final. Sweet dreams. Let me know what it feels like to enjoy the daylight.

Scratch paper

Before I catch a few ZzZz's during nappy-nap time, I have a few things to share about this morning's exam. It was Con Law...with the hippie professor. Most of us take our exams on a laptop, but some folks write in the Blue Books. Generally the professor will hand out extra Blue Books as scratch paper for those typing on the computer. Before handing out the exam, she made it a point to say that the people using laptops shouldn't be taking a full Blue Book to use as scratch paper. Instead we should rip out a few pages so that each Blue Book would accommodate 3-4 individuals. Silly me...I forgot that we're supposed to be hugging trees in our spare time. For me, that crap ranks right up there with global warming. The caveman survived the ice melting. I'm pretty sure 10 generations from now can handle a few extra puddles and a few extra degrees of heat. And even if global warming is such a big issue, I don't have any kids. What do I have to worry about? I'll be telling war stories with the man up above over a nice cup of Sake. What's next? Should we extend human rights to elephants and apes? If you're that worried about chopping down a few extra trees, then you're probably in the wrong profession. I suggest trying computer science. Then again, that may require too much electricity. I guess it's a lose-lose situation. The only thing that bothers me about the whole ordeal is that the exam consisted of one long hypothetical taking up 7 pages of paper. A smaller font, shorter hypo, and double-sided printing would have done the same trick as cutting back on the Blue Books.

Study break time

Since I'm in the middle of a study break, I figured I would share some of my humorous thoughts about Constitutional law. Con law primarily covers the judicial interpretation of the Constitution through the eyes of the 9 Supreme Court Justices (Scalia is my idol...his famous quote that I live by, "Well, that's my view, and it happens to be correct."). Issues in Con Law range from the home growth of medical marijuana for personal use, who has the right to keep and bear arms, discrimination (whether it be against race, gender, or general retards), and many other exciting topics. You don't have to memorize the Constitution to be successful in the class. You just have to know how to interpret and apply it to the case at hand...which I guess in some ways, that's close to having to memorize substantial parts of the Constitution. Nonetheless, memorization is not near as important as interpretation.

One of the big issues that just got handed down by the Supreme Court was the D.C. gun ban. Is it a violation of the 2nd Amendment right to bear arms? It was a 5-4 decision that basically leaves a somewhat comfortable feeling with gun toting rednecks...you can still have your guns, so don't get your panties in a wad just yet. I say just yet for a reason. It was a 5-4 decision. This means your dear President-elect may nominate some liberal wienie to the bench during his tenure as President. If that happens and another gun control case comes along, it's likely that your right to bear arms may be substantially affected. You wanted to level the playing field...well there you go...everyone will one day be required to fight with their fists. No more Uzi versus slingshot battles. Instead it's back to bare knuckles. A little ridiculous? Maybe, but I didn't vote for him...you did.

On a lighter note, another big issue is the medicinal usage of marijuana. If you love to smoke pot, then the liberal wienies taking over the bench may be a good thing for you. Get yourself a doctor's note and prepare to make your grand appearance at Woodstock '09. Don't get too excited though. I don't think LSD, crack, and meth have been proven useful in many medicinal applications...at least not yet.

Now how about discrimination and leveling the playing field for those disadvantaged in years past? Well, your tax dollar at work should prove to make the rich poorer and poor richer. Isn't that the reason you voted him in? So you could smooch off those that are successful and busted ass to get where they are? Take a back seat to government control sweetheart. Freedom? Hah, that's what you thought. Consider this your dream come true.

Ok, I'll back-pocket my political views for now. I'm sure I've stirred up a little emotion amongst those liberal whack-jobs. My apologies...well not really. I told you I can get a bit agitated and pissy during Finals' season.

Cream of the crop

3 finals left. After that, the pains of law school get put on the back burner for a month. I tend to get somewhat agitated and bitchy during these times. Toss in the stress, mix it with water and caffeine as opposed to beer, and out pops the not-so-fun version of me. I'd hate for someone to attempt to mug me in this roach infested city during these times, because I'd probably wind up with a few bullet wounds. Stress pumps me up. I already know that I'm the best. But stress...that just makes me realize my greatness even more. For any of those classy New Orleans thugs thinking of mugging me during these times, you will promptly receive a swift kick to the balls. If that doesn't do the trick, then expect a second kick. Get the point? Leave me the hell alone. Sorry, got a little excited there...back to the stress discussion. Pressure to perform is, hands down, the best feeling in the world. Maybe it's the soon-to-be attorney in me, but when I enter the examination room...I seek to destroy. After all, that's the whole concept of law school. It's not about whether you can perform well on an exam, it's about outperforming the competition. Those who are the creme de la creme get the lush big firm jobs. The ones at the bottom of the rankings become criminal defense and family law attorneys. There is no way in hell you will ever catch me drafting divorce papers or bailing out some reject from jail.

Ball busting

Fortunately this is the last week of finals. Unfortunately I still have a sub/cite article for the law journal that needs to be completed by the 15th. If I bust my balls, it can be done in just a few hours. But like I said, that's if I bust my balls. We all know that won't happen, because as soon as that last final is in the books, I'm off to the bar to erase any knowledge that I may have gained over the previous semester. The mind is sort of like a chalk board...what good is it if you can't erase mistakes?

For some reason, I picture Bourbon Street in my near future. I see myself carrying hand grenades, hurricanes, and jugs of Guinness...oh Joy! Maybe I'll get up on stage and karaoke me some Merle Haggard. Maybe I'll go shake my ass with the rest of the hippies at a zydeco punk bar. Maybe I'll go visit the palm readers and tell them they're full of crap. Maybe I'll join a Jazz band. Maybe I'll take a swim in the Mighty Mississippi. Maybe I'm just so damn excited that finals are about to be over. Maybe I should get back to studying before I resort to paradise prematurely.

Undergrads and libraries

For those of you that don't know, I prefer to bury myself in the corner of the undergraduate library while studying for Finals. It allows me to avoid the contagiousness of the law school stress that seems to float in the air at the law library. The undergraduates aren't any less mature than most law students...they just haven't learned the methods of studying at the bar with a beer. Actually, yes they are less mature and let me explain why.

I'm sitting in the library trying to push aside some of that engineering knowledge to fit in a few extra legalese terms. I start to smell something. Who in the hell has pizza delivered to the "Quiet, no food, no drinks." section of the library? Did someone forget to read the sign? Or are you still attempting to pass remedial literature? Actually, how in the hell does the pizza man sneak in that big red bag without being chased out by those bitchy librarians? Does the Bud man deliver kegs of beer? If so, I'm never leaving the library again.

I never saw the Bud man make a delivery there, but a few of the kids obviously stowed away some hooch somewhere. Either that, or the library is Chris Rock's new champagne room. Apparently the cool kids nowadays go to the library to practice baby-making. Or at least that's where they make a few dry runs. While I was sitting there trying to study, I look up and notice some random girl straddling a guy in a chair. Last time I checked, Bourbon Street was a couple miles down the road. If you want to participate in live sex shows, take your ass down to where all the other freaks hang out. I'm trying to study...dammit.

With that being said, Final #2 is officially in the books. 3 to go, and then we head to the bar. Yippee!!!

4 to go

I've been neglecting the blog world lately, but in my defense I've been quite the busy individual. Nothing really all that important, just the typical priorities in life...you know: studying, bar hopping, japanese whore houses, and bitching and moaning about random things. Other than that, life is still kicking along like a crack baby trying to bust his way out of the womb. I took my first final of the semester yesterday morning. Evidence...I was glad to get that one out of the way. I was beginning to get sick of reading about hearsay exceptions, intoxicated jurors, and retards. Final #2 is tomorrow. That's the fun one...prostitution and property rights! Oh the joys of law school.