Condom arguments

I have a lot of crap to write about ranging from humping toads, computers taking over the world, silly church people arguing about the use of condoms, and Obama's claim to being part Irish. So which one do I talk about today? After flipping a four-sided coin, I've decided to discuss silly church people. It would be great to discuss Obama's heritage as a white man and watching toads frolic in the street, but I must refrain and save those topics for another day.

My reasons for discussing church folks is two-fold: (1) the four-sided coin ultimately determined my fate in this matter; and (2) I actually contemplated taking a Canon Law course in an attempt to becoming one step closer to graduation (then I realized what a stupid idea that was).

To justify posting this on my law school blog, I must come up with a law school reason. That reason is clearly stated in prong two of my reasons for discussing church folks. Now that I'm a broke, homeless bastard (I will gladly accept donations), I need to ensure my financial aid funds are available over the summer to pay the rent. In order to get financial aid for the summer, I'm required to take classes. Well that sucks, what are my options? There are only 3 options for classes offered on campus this summer. I've either taken the others or they won't help me graduate. One of those available courses is Canon Law. For those not in the know, Canon Law is the law as it relates to religion. I don't know much more about it than that. Mostly because I don't give a rat's ass about the law of the Church since the Church no longer rules the world. I assume the Church we speak of is the Catholic Church...after all, I'm in a Catholic law school...I highly doubt we'll be learning any of that Muslim or Baptist nonsense at this institution. After coming to my senses, I've pretty much set my mind on studying abroad over the summer. My ambition to study abroad does not stem from a desire to learn about other cultures and provide aid to dying apes in the Congo. It simply comes from the fact that I need financial aid to pay the rent. That simple. However, there is one thing that interests me about these other countries: what does the beer taste like over there?

Now that I've justified the existence of this post on a law school blog, time to discuss silly church people arguing about condoms. Apparently there is this brilliant (sarcasm? yes.) pastor out there that is concerned with AIDS and is criticizing the Catholic Church and the current Pope about their stance on the AIDS epidemic. First, this pastor is a complete idiot. Does he not realize that the Pope carries with him a cult following that will be quick to kick his ass for talking bad about their master? Second, he misconstrues the Pope's logic behind his stance on the use of condoms. The Pope says that abstinence is the only method to preventing AIDS and he is definitely correct. However, crazy pastor dude thinks that the Pope needs to come to his senses and realize that people don't wait for marriage and instead screw like rabbits. Where crazy pastor dude goes wrong is when he starts to question the Pope's stance on condoms. The whole reasoning for the Pope failing to endorse the use of condoms is because of religious beliefs. Think about it, once the Catholic Church accepts and endorses condoms, it basically sends the message to all priests and school children that fondling is okay in the community now. So my message to crazy pastor dude is, "Shut up. The Pope doesn't care about what you think. He doesn't care about what anyone thinks. He's the man. He flashes his wand and millions bow down. Get over it." Crazy pastor dude thinks that the Pope would be of great assistance by endorsing the use of condoms, but like I said...doing so would go against the Catholic belief that sex should only be used for procreation...it's not okay to partake in silly, sloppy, hot monkey sex.

I'm back...finally

It's been about a month since the last post. I kind of forgot about the blog. I'll blame that on the new kegerator and Mardi Gras. Apparently this year's Mardi Gras had the largest turnout in 20 years. At least that's what one of the local news' channels stated. 13 people were shot this year, yet only one died of combat wounds. Not too bad.

Now that I'm back in the swing of things with school, I'll get back to posting on a regular basis. So stay tuned.