My mentors

Wow, finally a night with no work to do. This won't happen often so let me take full advantage. For the orientation courses, I have three professors. One discusses statutory interpretation, the other discusses...well I don't know what he discusses, I'm still confused...something along the lines of synthesis of various cases, and the third professor discusses what to expect from law school such as the exams, time management, and how to be successful. Each one is interesting in his own way. One of them has some strange fetish about making jokes about bongs. Another is highly interested in throwing out random observations involving the debauchery and prostitution case. The last one...well he's a former Electrical Engineer that wasn't intrigued with scientific studies<--hey that sounds like someone else I know. What they all have in common is that each made it through law school and now their mission is to make my next three years a super pain in the rectum. This whole law thing is going to be a huge dedication. From what I've noticed however, I don't think it's as "difficult" as what they make it out to be. Maybe I'm wrong. It seems to me as if it's more of a lack of time to get all of this crap done issue. So to counter that, we'll turn you into a bunch of chronic smoking anorexics. The cigarette smoke floating around the law school entrance sets the fire alarms off at least 3 times a day. After decades of incoming students, they have yet to figure out that the smoke alarms actually work. Why do you need fire drills when you give the students 15 minutes in between classes? You think I'm joking? I've smoked 6 packs of second hand menthols this week. If I breathe, I get hazy. If I don't, I suffocate. No happy medium.

Stay in your state

Here's one for you. The White Slave Traffic Act of 1910 or some crap like that. Basically, this is a statute regarding the transportation of women in interstate commerce for the purpose of prostitution, debauchery, or some other immoral purpose. Interstate commerce in simple terms is a business deal across state borders. In the particular case we discussed in class, some dude had some woman taken to another state for the sole purpose of her becoming his mistress and concubine. To be more blunt, she was to become his sex slave. The facts in the case were already ruled on in a lower court, so the issue here for the Supreme Court was the wording of the statute itself. Is his transportation of this woman for an immoral purpose? It depends on how you define immoral. Was the intent of legislature here to describe immoral as something related to prostitution or debauchery? Is it the courts duty to extend the law based on what legislature intended it to mean? Or should the court base its decision on the specific wording of the statute? After all, making her his mistress isn't stated directly as being immoral. What if it was his wife and he intended to take her to some remote location across the state line to do the dirty-dirty in the Wal-Mart parking lot? Did she consent or does that really matter? What if it was a transvestite? This is just a snippet of what we discussed in class. It's all about teaching us to think like a lawyer.

I'm not going to dwell on the details in this post. Too many questions. Now you know why it takes so friggin' long to brief these stupid cases. But then again you can also see why I think this stuff is more exciting than The Harriest Potter collection. We get to discuss and argue about hookers! No broomsticks or magic carpets here!

Unpleasant surprise

As I'm walking into class this evening, I take a quick glance at my schedule to make sure I'm not supposed to be jazzed up in a suit for 1L pictures. Luckily, the check confirmed that's not until Thursday. But then I noticed, "Class 6 p.m. - 10 p.m." 4 hours of ungraded torture...great. Come to find out, Monday was just a 2.5 hour tease. The remainder of the week is 4 hours a pop. Not to mention, the grueling readings that will keep me up until 3 in the morning. Work, eat, class, read, and then it starts all over again. Where does sleep fall into this equation?

I've been told that these mandatory 1L pictures may be used by the professors as part of their Socratic teaching method. Whether it's true or not, I've heard that they use your name in conjunction with your picture to remind themselves of who the slackers are when determining who to belittle during the lectures. Most of the professors will randomly call upon an individual to state the facts, issues, rulings, analysis, and holdings of each case. If you're wrong, they'll be sure to let you and your fellow classmates know. If you're right, then they'll just find a way to prove you wrong. As nuts as this may sound, I'm actually looking forward to experiencing this. I've noticed that even with a lack of rest, I find myself zoned in on the lectures. It's much more interesting than scientific studies because there never exists a right or wrong. So as I see it...I'm always right. Then again, there was never any doubt.

I have some interesting thoughts on cases to discuss in future posts.

Taking it easy

Tonight was the first day of an introductory class that will last the remainder of the week...including Saturday. Saturday afternoon should be reserved for time spent at the pub. It's the only time for relaxation. Why must I bother with a class that won't even result in a grade? It's nonsense, but what are you gonna do? Today we learned how to start thinking like a lawyer. The professors do nothing but ask questions. I've yet to hear a statement other than being told that we should be proud of our gift of intellect that landed us here in the first place. I think they're just building us up now so when they strike us down later, we'll feel like a bunch of retards. Most people seem completely lost...and it's only the first day. There are those quick to act like champions shouting out answers to all of the professors' questions, but none of them are ever right. I'll wait my turn until I know I'll sound at least somewhat intelligent.<--That could be a long while.

Luckily, they're refraining from torturing us with the Socratic teaching method until we start our real course of study. I'll elaborate on this method some more once I experience the pain first-hand. It's past midnight and I still have 20 pages to go. It'll take awhile. This isn't a Harry Potter novel. I think I read more sentences from the dictionary than what is contained in the actual cases. A couple more hours of reading and then I'll hit the sack so I can make it up for work in the morning.

World of Ethics

On Saturday, we had an "Ethics Session" put on by the law school by bringing in local attorneys and judges to discuss with us the importance of ethics within the profession. Compared to most people, my morals tend to sway out at the edge of the limb. And since ethics in my mind (correct me if I'm wrong) are simply the application of morals to satisfy some "code of ethics", I tend to find ethics a crap shoot. By this I mean, codes of ethics tend to be vague so what really defines good ethics? If it seems ethical to me, is that good enough? I'll just assume yes since I don't want to give this ethics topic any more thought at the moment. To top it off, we were encouraged (might as well say forced) to dress in professional business attire. Normally, I wouldn't have an issue with doing so. Although when it's 100 degrees out with 378.6(expect some rounding error) percent humidity, I'd rather not be all spiffed up. There will be ample opportunity for the professional attire once I actually become one of these professionals. Until then, tank top and boxers should suffice. And to make it worse (yeah you thought I was done whining), the fire alarm was triggered during the session so we got to experience what it would feel like to be a construction foreman dressed in a suit.

I haven't been to class yet and I already have 50 pages of cases to read. Since tomorrow is the first class, well sort of, I must attempt to get this crap finished.

The First Day(s) of Attorney-ism

The first day is in the books, albeit not an official class yet. On Friday night, the SBA had a meet and greet session with the incoming 1L's as we're called. Being a 1L is basically the same as a S00p3r n00b in computer terminology. No respect, but already a lot of debt. The 3L's on the other hand can be thought of as Leet H4x0r's. And after finished being a 3L, you seal your fate with being able (or for some) not able to pass the Bar exam. If you pass, then you're ready to make some dough. If you fail, then you try again and pray that you're not as stupid as the first time that you took it. Either way, you're now not as much of a tool as the incoming 1L's.

Now, I must discuss some liberal-artsism<--A new word in my personal dictionary. Even in engineering we have those annoying knobs that speak out of turn and blurt out answers that are completely off base. As an engineer, I'm somewhat of an introvert. On the other end of the spectrum, you have the liberal arts folks. In my only two experiences with the arts (yesterday and today), I've come to define that liberal-artsism is the study of how to learn to not shut up. And apparently, law school is just the graduate version of this unfamiliar (to me) concept. It'll be tough, but I'll learn to adapt.

Back to the meet and greet...We basically were instructed to mix and mingle with our peers. In making sure we did so, we were presented with free beer. What a superb idea? Teach us to be alkies before we even begin. No wonder lawyers have such bad reputations. One of my new found buddies said it best, "Well, we can tell who just graduated college and who's held a real job." We asked, "Oh, yeah? How is that?" He said, "We're all part-time students who have real jobs, right? Take a look around, we're also closest to the keg." He's got a point.

Tomorrow, I'll be elaborating on my first day in a suit discussing ethics.

The MNF theme song (hum along dammit) Da da da da, da da da da da da daaaa da da da dah...or something like that

It's approaching fast. Only four days remaining until the transformation from smart-ass engineer to crooked-ass lawyer begins. Of course, I had another bout of bad luck again just before the move. As if a $30K/year education doesn't set me back enough, I found a way to put a $1000 bump and gash in the side of my truck over the weekend. My stupidity took me sliding of the side of a brick wall in a friends driveway. The poor black beauty suffers its first (and hopefully last) major bruise. Oh well, shit happens. Nothing a little cash and beer can't fix. On a more uplifting note, I successfully moved into the new apartment this past Saturday. Priorities were met: 23 blocks from school and 1 block from the bar on the Mardi Gras parade route!